Arthur Kean
Football World Cup 2042 – Captain Arthur Kean led his team to a 3.0 victory against Holland. Here is his speech.
Christopher Cross once said “Once in your life you find here. Someone that turns your heart around”. There are many people to thank but my origin story starts at Ladybird Nursery back in 2023-2024. My very first teacher Miss Dianne recognized in me the skills that made it possible for me to stand here today.
Whilst initially I may not have been the most compliant individual, a firm yet loving and patient hand. That I actually had wrapped around my little finger, brought me out of my shell.
My first year at school was incredibly difficult. Once done with Splash Pad (what happens at Splash Pad stays at Splash Pad), painting, some dance moves, and playing dress up, I was forced to read my favourite book (Room on the Broom) and share Miss Dianne’s Makhana nuts.
Thereafter I was given my own room and noise maker to make sure I would recover from this arduous day. While I do acknowledge how much time and patience it took for Miss Dianne to find my routine, be advised that these transgressions have not been forgotten.
Ladies, you may thank Miss Dianne for my incredible domestic skills that include but are not limited to cooking, cleaning, ironing, tidying up and being a dab hand at baking. Although I had to leave my Maverick flight suit and Kandura in the closet, as I had to give other men a chance, I remain Sheikh Arbab at heart.
My career nearly took a turn that year. If it hadn’t been for Miss Dianne I might have ended up as race car driver, back – up dancer, Santa’s helper/reindeer, animal feeder, professional jungle gym tester or even the world’s foremost finger painter. Thank goodness football stuck with me as it makes me chillax!
Unfortunately my time at Ladybird was not finished and I had to endure an extra year of cuddles at drop – offs. As my mother always says I wish you all to have a Miss Dianne in your life.
I would like to end my quoting the immortal words of the philosophers Ragheb Alama, Seyi Shay and Costi: “Yalla Habibi”.
Thank you for this wonderful year Dianne, we will miss you clearly!
Lots of love: Craig, Louise and Arbab Arthur Kean
